"Notes To Self"

Notes to self (questions, thoughts, helpful hints, and friendly reminders), by Ian Little

People like hugs, even mean people.
Dogs and cats have fur because no one likes to pet bald animals.
Girlfriends really do care about you.until you break up.
Madonna looks good for her age; Jennifer Lopez looks better.
Metallica rocked in the eighties, then they cut their hair.
I was a cute baby.
Show girls cute baby pictures, bonus points.
Even if a girl looks bad, say they look good.
All girls think they look bad.
Notes to self are fun to write.
If you want a good relationship, date a friend. If you want to have fun, close your eyes and dive in head first.
Life is not like a box of chocolates. Life tastes bitter and lasts longer than any chocolates I have ever had.
Time is only a measurement that makes Man think he can control the day. A day is just a measurement that makes Man think he can control the dark and the light.
Man controls nothing but his own actions. If he doesn't control them, his actions will control him.
No one can understand what Kurt Kobain meant. I have never smelled teen spirit.
America is the best country in the world, but why did we stop there?
Some of my notes are questions.
Questions are good, but know when to stop asking and start finding the answers.
I probably should wear sunscreen like that song says.
Marilyn Manson is not the Antichrist, just a scapegoat for parents who can't communicate with their children.
I really don't like Marilyn Manson. Still, he ain't the devil.
I don't know half of what I think I do, no one does.
There's no real reason to watch Scooby Doo. It's not scary, not funny; yet if it's on you just watch it like a zombie or something.
Everyone should read my notes. They are informative and stimulating.
I will never understand the whole Leonardo DiCaprio thing. Yeah he is cute, but in a sadly feminine way.
The best part about babysitting is knowing that you can hand the kids back and the end of the night.
No weather man predicts the same weather, yet all use the same equipment.
Furbies are soldiers of Satan. Furbish is the language of the damned; I don't lie!
The news is depressing.
What if people who worship trees are right?
Speed bumps are accurately named.
Frowning uses more muscles than smiling, so I'm not sad, I just work out a lot.
Even the brightest light burns out eventually.
Don't eat food from the fridge that you can't identify.
Public bathrooms have more phone numbers than I do.
If a girl ever says "I don't care, do what you want," don't! Do exactly what they want. Pain is bad. A woman's wrath is worse.
Nice guys don't finish last, bad boys finish too soon.
Pee Wee Herman is not a bad guy, he just got caught.
The English language will never make any sense.
Parents freak out about everything, just get used to it
If something doesn't involve you, keep your mouth shut, no one cares!
Car insurance is higher if you own a red car. They say the color makes you want to drive faster. They suggest a cool color like green instead. Yet at stop lights, red means stop and green means go. Why?
Janet Reno is a man baby.
Girls like to get flowers
The shake machine is always broken at fast food places.
There isn't always room for Jello.
If you're legally blind, don't worry. You aren't breaking the law, you're legal.
Who is the real Slim Shady?
Whoever invented glitter should clean it up.
Grape-Nuts is another name for gravel.

Sections