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"Stupid Stuff"Stupid StuffBy: Chibi Sakura(crazy music plays and a man enters the room ) Man: Hey howdy hey! Welcome to Stupid Stuff. I'm your host, Stu Pidguy. Today, our guests are the characters from the popular game, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time! (crowd cheers as the guests enter the room) Stu Pidguy: Hi, gang. What are you guys doing today? Link: We're talking to you. (drum and cymbal sound) Zelda: I'm not a boy. Stu: Well, now that that's finished, I'm gonna ask some questions. Ahem, what do you like better- Malon: I have a bright yellow bra. Stu: Um...that's nice, Malon. Ganondorf: I have tie-dye boxers. Wanna see? Stu: Listen, people, I wanna ask my question right now! Nabooru: Ask away. Stu: Ahem. What do you like better, public bathrooms or barf bags? Link: Do trees count? Stu: Moron! Trees don't count! Link: But I only go to the bathroom behind trees. Stu: For the last time, Link, trees can't count! Impa: He meant, do trees count as a public bathroom? Stu: (slaps his forehead) Oh I guess so! After all, trees are always free for everyone to enjoy. Link: Even if someone uses them to go to the bathroom? Stu: Yes! Now shut your mouth! Zelda: (smacks Stu's butt) Never talk to Link like that! (smacks his butt again) Never ever! Saria: I have to go potty! Rauru: Can't you wait? Saria: (pee starts leaking out of her shorts) I have to go right now! Rauru: (sighs and takes Saria's hand) I'll take you to the bathroom. Saria: Hurry! My Pull Up is getting wet! Stu: That kid is such an idiot! Link: (bites Stu's hair and twists his arm and gives him a black eye) Don't say that about Saria! Stu: Okay! I'm sorry for saying that! Now sit down! (everyone sits down) Ruto: Can I say something? I haven't said anything yet. Link: What do you want to say? Ruto: I want to say this. Ahem, this! Link: That's all? Ruto: Well, didn't I say that I wanted to say: this? Stu: Hah hah hah! That's the kind of behavior that's expected on Stupid Stuff! Now for my question. Ahem, why do I always say ahem before each question? Darunia: Because it's your favorite word. Stu: Is that what all of you said? (everyone nods their heads) Hah hah hah! That's wrong-o-mundo! Nabooru: Sniff sniff. You're mean. Stu: I'm a television host. I'm supposed to be mean. Malon: I have a pet cow. Her name is Bessie. Stu: What's that got to do with this question? Malon: I think Bessie is a stupid name. And this is a show for being stupid, isn't it? Stu: Yes...but I'm the one who does the stupid stuff, then you have time to be stupid. Impa: Can you believe it? It costs $17.00 for a bottle of Flinstone vitamins! That's completly wrong! Stu: Well, because of your stupidity, we only have time for one question. So, here it is. Ahem, do you like ichi-ban noodles? Darunia: What kind of a question is that? Link: A stupid one. Malon: What's a ichi-ban? Ganondorf: (picks his nose) Is this what you're talkin' about? (sticks the booger in Stu's face) Stu: (pushes the booger away) Arg! Go away! This show if finished! I quit! (slams his coffee mug down as he exits the room.) Link: (sighs) Well, not everyone likes ichi-ban noodles. Everyone: (picks their noses) Nope! |